Rise and Fall

The second morning at the In-Patient Unit and we walked in to find two of the nurses trying very dismally to insert an IV catheter into one of the patient’s arms. They constantly complained about how tough his skin was to break through and that his veins had collapsed, making it even more difficult to get fluids into his failing body. I looked at the thin frame that lay in the bed, the contours of his bones clearly defined under his skin. He lay there with his eyes shifting across the room not moving any other part of his body, what caught my attention though was his heavy and laborious breathing. I stood and watched as his chest, outlined by the bones of his ribs, rose up and down and up and down with each breath that he struggled for. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest was the last remnants of life within him and after each breath he seemed to wait for a few moments before taking the next one. Lily and I would glance at each other and then back at his chest, hoping to see it rise, but expecting it not to. This man could no longer eat solid foods and even struggled to ingest the soft porridge that the nursing staff had prepared for him. He could not speak and struggled to breath and all that persisted was the rise and fall of his chest, pausing for a long while before rising and falling again. Many times while Sister Francinah tried to insert the catheter, we saw him drift in and out of consciousness and she would tap his head and loudly call his name to try and bring him back to life. After many attempts by a few of the nursing staff, they finally gave up inserting the IV and tried once again to orally feed his weak frame....I stood there and stared intently at the rise and fall of his chest, hoping but not expectant.
We spent the day doing whatever we could to help Bernard; as the morning progressed we fed some of those patients that could not feed themselves and after breakfast, we helped get them out of bed and into the sun for a while. Bernard explained that a lot of them often spend about 2 weeks in the wards and never go outside so any sun that they could get would be good for them. Making hospital beds seemed a more challenging job that I thought it would be especially after Bernard explained exactly what we should do and after realising that some of the linen had fluid from the patients and so we had to use extra precaution when changing those sheets. We changed all of the beds in both wards and even went to those in the TB ward where a newly admitted patient joined the three women we had seen there the previous day. As we were changing the beds, Bernard told us that another patient had passed away in the female ward. Lily looked at him inquisitively and we asked if we could see how they prepare patients for the mortuary and without hesitation he said yes, but only if we were sure. We walked into the female ward, changing each one of the beds and choosing not to pay attention to the corner bed that was kept secluded behind two curtains, that was where she lay. She has passed away only minutes before while we were in the male ward and with every bed change we came closer and closer to that corner. I tried to psych myself up to the experience, I have never seen a dead body before, except for open casket viewings at funerals and for some reason I thought that if I could stomach this then I would be ready for a career in the health professions. We finished changing the other beds, helped the patients back into the empty beds and nodded at Bernard as he asked if we were ready to see the body. He pulled back the white curtain and we huddled around the bed and waited for him to pull back the white sheet that lay over what appeared to be a frail female body. As he pulled it back, I watched and waited...her body lay perfectly straight with her arms lying by her side, the nursing staff had placed wet cotton balls over her eye lids to help them close and they had wrapped a bandage around her bead from her chin around the top of her head to help close her open mouth. Bernard went on to place a small pillow under her chin as well because he explained that if they didn’t do that then the mouth would stay wide open which is not how most family members wish to see the body of their loved one after death. I watched her feeble and motionless body, half expecting to see that familiar rise and fall of her chest but knowing that it would not come. Bernard replaced the white sheet over her head and as we left the ward I noticed that I was surprisingly a lot calmer than I thought I would be and we continued on with our day as if nothing had changed. While sitting down for a tea break I began paying closer attention to by own chest, I felt it rise and expand forward and later contract and fall again, breathing seemed so easy for me at that point but I began to appreciate this steady rise and fall that gives and takes life.